Hey, puasa. Hey, everyone. This fasting month makes me feel nothing but sorry to say, it's just an another month for me. Idk why I'm being like this. Whenever I asked myself, have I ever been happier? Is there someone out there that could make me feel like one? I've never felt so alone before. Yes, like I said, I used to be on my own but I've never felt so alone. My friends, semua jauh. I want you guys back here with me, please.
I hate my new environment, it kills me. I hate being surrounded by fakes. Real friends and real people are definitely an endangered species.
Sometimes I think, every single thing that we did in this world, is always for people. Even if we said that we don't actually care, but yes we do. I am trying to be a better person for him, no doubt. There are also certain things that I do that could make me a better person, for me. And things get complicated when both of them clashes. My needs vs his needs and my dreams vs his thoughts. Yes, he really did say that he supports me, understands me. But the truth is? How I wish he could really, really understand me.
Covering up my feelings by showing up my fading sense of humour. Decided not to talk and being in a total silence because I have a fear of being judge. I think I just lost the bubbly side of me. Seriously, that is really how pathetic I sounded.
Expecting perfect scripted movie scenes.
Perfection is everything.
Blergh.
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