Future Scares Me.

It's been awhile. I miss how I nagging about some stuffs here. Stupid of you guys to read it but I find it as an enjoyment for me so, thank you. Haha. Life's pretty rocky for these past few weeks. I have a few tweaks at here and there but still, manage to get through it. Like they say, wild hearts can not be broken. Dah kalau hati kering tu hati kering jugak lah weh haha. Btw, I'm done talking about you. It's tiring and stupidly frustrating of you for not trying to understand a thing. Fine, go on with your life. I'll always wish that you will be happy and till then, stop bothering me. You have a life now, so just go on. You'll be fine.

Ohh God, I really hate rushing things up. I really hate showing everything. For once, I just want this to be about us and without anyone else in the picture. Tak serabut ke? Seriously, I wish you could understand. Yes, how can I make him understand. I wish I could. Yes, my feelings are saying it differently but I just can't bare any consequences enough. You know what? I can't afford to lose someone anymore. Cukup cukup lah dengan semua orang yang pernah tinggalkan aku dalam dunia ni. And I don't want you to be a part of them. Ahhhh if only you could understand the idea of me doing this.

It's a little too early to say but I think I just cared about him, like a lot. I don't know why he means so much to me. The way he say things, the way he tells me to calm down, the way he makes me happy. I know, I know blah blah blah the typical stories. BUT NO! This is not! I'm not setting my hopes up too high but I think he's the best guy I have ever had. I don't know what to address him actually. He's been my everything. A friend, a really good friend, a close one, a place where I go when I'm lost. Someone that I love and I cared. Frankly, he's my everything. He's the best. I'm trying to make things slower and not rushing things up. After all, I can't barely lose someone that really means so much to me. I know that he's going to be that someone in my life.

I love you.

And I hope you understand

the idea of it.